I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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