From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize