I'm so fucking centered right now
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
