Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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