whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
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