The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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