Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
