He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Fuck appropriateness.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just invented taco cereal.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
