She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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