I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize