Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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