I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize