i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
