He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize