Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
