You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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