they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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