oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
