sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
