You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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