True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My ass is underappreciated
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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