he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
