I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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