That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
