Just took my morning after pill in the library
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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