he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
