You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
