One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Pants are for mortals
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
