is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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