Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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