i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
