Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
