sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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