Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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