no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
