I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
