Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
