I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
