Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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