his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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