I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize