Me too!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
