somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
