I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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