i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
