P.S. I can't hear my feet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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