my vag is so smooth its legendary
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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