How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
