If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
