I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
no, he came in my armpit
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
