you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
