I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
