What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
