I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize