hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
smell my finger.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize