My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
