Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he wants to bone in the snuggie
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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