I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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