The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
