I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
babies were throwing up all over the place
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
