dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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