We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize