are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
