I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
