If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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